Today I haven’t felt this down in a really long time. I kind of felt like I’m just playing the waiting game and all it does is hurt me. It’s unfortunate when you go through this because all you know what to do is exactly… nothing. (if that makes sense at all.) I feel like I have nobody to turn to and even those people who said they will be here for me, I just can’t turn to them because you know they won’t understand.
I need to find myself and do things for myself but I’m not sure how to. I feel like everyone belongs to everyone… what I mean by that is all the people who hang out or are together, are literally together and I’m just here, alone. I know I chose to be alone but it sure doesn’t feel like a good place to be in. I know I can get pass it but literally like I said, it’s a waiting game. I don’t want to go back to playing games and whatnot, I want to be a normal teenager or college student by going out with friends and not caring because its the damn summer time. Everyone is literally out and socializing while I’m in my house all day long.
Maybe I need a new job but I know if I do get one, I won’t want to quit and I won’t focus on school since school is coming up in almost a month. So what do I do for the next month and a week…
I hope nobody reads this but then again I am posting it to the public